Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
