His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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