i'm signing you up for texting rehab
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Randomize
