He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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