im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
