problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
