chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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