If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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