she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
you made out with another girl for some wings
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
