the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
