Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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