I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
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