I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
