perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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