All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
