Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize