She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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