fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
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