We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
