Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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