I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
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I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
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Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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