It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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