Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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