I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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