you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
