Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
