i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Randomize
