i don't like sucking hair
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Randomize