You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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