I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
