Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
