How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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