It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Randomize
