So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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