When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
