do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
