dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
