Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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