hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
