OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
