Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
