The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
