i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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