dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
