seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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