did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
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