Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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