I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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