Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
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For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
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Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize