so explain again why im purple
no
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
