Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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