Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
