i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Randomize
