haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
