I wish I only lived at night.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
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