I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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